Waging a battle against embitterment since 2008
Traveling Circus
Seriously, who knew that a cheesy music video with possessed altar boys could be made to be so funny?
This totally one of the funniest things I've seen on Youtube in a long time.
Grace in Small Things 34 of 365
1. When you blow your nose and you forget to plug one nostril and all the guck goes back into your ear and your ear becomes clogged with the guck and you can't hear and you're all like, "What'd you say about my momma mutha fucka?" and you realize it was one of your students and they were actually asking which page they are supposed to be studying for homework today and you realize that that sentence and the one you thought you heard don't sound anything alike but it gets brushed off because the kid couldn't understand what you were saying in the first place and then your ear pops and everything is right in the world again;2. Foreigners playing drinking games outside a convenience store while onlooking Koreans wonder if there is some sort of convention going on and where all these non-Koreans suddenly came from;
3. The same foreigners instituting a rule in the same drinking game that requires them to dry hump a lamp post and there being photo evidence;
4. Finally forgetting that I ever wasted money to see 2012; if you saw this movie and enjoyed it, do yourself a favor: reach into your desk drawer or the nearest stationary holder, pick up a pencil and jab into your eye because you should not be allowed to watch movies ever, ever again;
5. Phone calls that make things feel final.
Han Dohui Bu-jung-nim
→ This guy is the head of the Discipline Department at school. Actually, it's called the "Student Affairs Department" because "discipline" comes with a heavy undertone. He's pictured here at the school gate where he stands to greet and smack around students who are late. Really. But he doesn't actually smack them around. He calls them over and makes them stand in front of him and then he stares them down until the kid looks like they're going to shit themselves. Don't let the smile fool you (if he actually is smiling, I can never really tell.) He also encourages me to call him "Hunga" which means "older brother" in Korean. He doesn't like it when I call him by his title. He's always wanted a younger and apparently whiter, Canadian brother. He says that he can speak English "very well because CJ is my assistance." He's wearing a face mask because of a swine flu scare. Unfortunately, he didn't come to school today because he might have contracted it from one of the students. What does this teach us kids? Pay back's a bitch.
Women I Love: 18/365, The Short Fat Substitute Teacher from 7th Grade
When I was in the seventh grade, the woman who was supposed to be our real teacher went to have a baby and didn't want to come back. She came and introduced ourselves, told us that her baby needed to be taken care of and that she probably wouldn't be back for a really long time. After she left, there was a long line of substitute teachers that came and went: a really flamboyant and hairy guy who liked to tell stories about weekends spent at his parent's cottage with his "buddies", a hipster retired university professor who told us that they only real subject worth studying in school was sculpting and a short fat woman with a ginormous mole on the side of her face. She actually stayed the longest. She was our teacher over the Christmas season and was hell bent on having our class produce the best part of the annual Christmas pageant. She wanted to do a contemporary take on Dicken's A Christmas Carol and wanted there to be a female lead playing the part of Ebenezer Scrooge. I wanted to be Scrooge but instead landed the role of painting trees on the cardboard backdrop. We worked every day during the lunch hour and after school perfecting this horrific homage to a holiday tradition and when push came to shove, the Short Fat Substitute had a nervous breakdown and didn't stick around to finish practicing of her X-Mas masterpiece. Distraught and disappointed, our seventh grade class ended up doing a rendition of Rudolph the Red Nose reindeer with the nutty sculpting professor as our conductor with a big red nose.
What I See At Night
People ask me constantly what Korea looks like at night. Ok, they don't. But I imagine if I ever got mail from anyone asking about Korea, they'd want to know what it looks like around sunset. Because you're all hopeless romantics. It's really disgusting.
That's a hospital in the back. But it looks like a jail. And that's a park across the street and a court that guys use to play some kind of weird kick-a-vollyball-over-a-tennis-net-and-hit-it-with-our-heads game. This next two pictures show the expansive apartment complexes that people live in. There are no houses in the city. If you want to see a house, you best be heading out into butt-fuck no where where people pick rice and eat their dogs.
That last sentence may not be completely accurate and might be a very stereotypical over-generalization of Korean hillbillies. But they do exist. And they probably do eat their dogs.
C.J.'s Page
Latest Activity
1. The card in Monopoly that reads "Bank error in your favor, collect $200" - ka fuckin' ching!
2. Chest hair: I don't give a damn what any woman or hunky male model says, when it's -20 outside and all the other guys are freezing their asses off ...
1. Esquire magazine explaining to me exactly what I should wear and how I should wear it;
2. This instructional video that teaches Japanese prostitutes some key English expressions that they can use to better communicate with their clients;
3...
1. Leftover spaghetti with ketchup and Parmesan cheese, don't knock it til you try it;
2. The latest opening scene of The Office in which Dwight stages a mock fire drill by lighting a real fire in the office and Angela's cat falls through the cei...
C.J.'s Blog
Grace in Small Things Part 15 of 365
1. The card in Monopoly that reads "Bank error in your favor, collect $200" - ka fuckin' ching!
2. Chest hair: I don't give a damn what any woman or hunky male model says, when it's -20 outside and all the other guys are freezing their asses off because they shaved all the hair off their ass, I'm the one that's laughing! And warm.
3. The new "like" feature on Facebook: I spent all afternoon liking things ... how much more "grace in small things" can you get?
4. Nude Asian men. I've never felt… Continue
2. Chest hair: I don't give a damn what any woman or hunky male model says, when it's -20 outside and all the other guys are freezing their asses off because they shaved all the hair off their ass, I'm the one that's laughing! And warm.
3. The new "like" feature on Facebook: I spent all afternoon liking things ... how much more "grace in small things" can you get?
4. Nude Asian men. I've never felt… Continue
Posted on February 24, 2009 at 6:11am —
Grace in Small Things Part 8 of 365
1. Esquire magazine explaining to me exactly what I should wear and how I should wear it;
2. This instructional video that teaches Japanese prostitutes some key English expressions that they can use to better communicate with their clients;
3. Soju and yogurt cocktails;
4. The writers of The Young and the Restless finally killed off that idiot Brad Carlton; honestly, that whiny little duffus was totally starting to g… Continue
2. This instructional video that teaches Japanese prostitutes some key English expressions that they can use to better communicate with their clients;
3. Soju and yogurt cocktails;
4. The writers of The Young and the Restless finally killed off that idiot Brad Carlton; honestly, that whiny little duffus was totally starting to g… Continue
Posted on February 8, 2009 at 2:29am — 1 Comment
Grace in Small Things Part 7 of 365
1. Leftover spaghetti with ketchup and Parmesan cheese, don't knock it til you try it;
2. The latest opening scene of The Office in which Dwight stages a mock fire drill by lighting a real fire in the office and Angela's cat falls through the ceiling;
3. The Think Tank (minus Sucka because unfortunately, last night he died and I had to flush him while Jinah hid in the stairwell);
4. Happy ending massa… Continue
2. The latest opening scene of The Office in which Dwight stages a mock fire drill by lighting a real fire in the office and Angela's cat falls through the ceiling;
3. The Think Tank (minus Sucka because unfortunately, last night he died and I had to flush him while Jinah hid in the stairwell);
4. Happy ending massa… Continue
Posted on February 3, 2009 at 3:23am — 2 Comments
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- What is your weblog address?
- http://www.cjkoster.com
- What prompted you to take part in Grace in Small Things?
- Schmutzie.
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